Updated: Nov 5, 2019
OK. Loss of erection. We all been there now and then and it happens to me too occasionally. It’s not a big deal, it can easily be dealt with.
It’s basically a sign of either some kind of tension in the body or in your head or not being present, not being there with the partner, wandering about the to-do list or whatever else...or simply not being in the mood and pushing it just because the partner wants it.
don’t judge yourself for it, don’t start crucifying yourself for it...
So, firstly, not sure if that’s your preference, but having sex after a heavy meal is not gonna give you proper hard-on really. All that the body is focusing on after a meal is to digest it, so all the resources, namely blood and energy is in your belly, rather than your dick. But hey, maybe, it works for you, who knows. It’s just an idea as physiologically speaking, it’s not the best time to start humping. What I’d then recommend to do is to really first check with yourself...”am I really up for it right one?” and if you have loud and clear no, say it your partner, don’t be afraid. Quality of such sex would not really probably satisfy her anyway. By telling her and maybe even opening a discussion of what is behind it can actually be very beneficial to both of you. But I guess, in most cases, you just want it as much as she does.
So if you do and you lost the erection either completely or you just softened, scan your whole body and see if there is any tension somewhere. It could be in your groin, in your neck, your shoulders, your toes, quickly scan the whole body and if you find some tension, some contraction, release it by putting your attention there and breathing into it, release it completely. If it means to change the position, do so. Even shake it off slightly if you can.
”why?, what the fuck, common, etc etc”.
Next tip. You see, when we lose the erection, all of a sudden, we disconnect from our partner, from the whole experience, and we get to our heads and start thinking, like...”why?, what the fuck, common, etc etc”. What we should do instead, is the exact opposite. Stay calm and fully focus on your partner, on her pleasure, on the sounds she makes, on her beautiful body, her wet pussy, her tits, but mainly on the love you feel towards her and the love she emanates back to you. Focus on the connection you have there, the physical as well as emotional. Look at her like you wouldn’t know her, like it’s the first time you having sex.
All this is really turning on for us men, we just sometimes forget it and do all the physical or we just so “used to” our partner. I am telling you, if you can put your self-judgemental mind to a side and focus on her instead, your hard-on is back in no-time.
My online course "The Supreme Lover" is bursting with tips, advices and techniques on what to do if a man's instrument is not cooperating. Check the site for more information here.