Updated: Jan 28
HOW DO YOU GIVE & RECEIVE LOVE?
The book that sparked the new way of thinking about love, "The 5 Love Languages", by Dr. Gary Chapman, was written in 1992. Since then, the book sold over 12 million copies and quickly became a standard in the field of relationship coaching, counselling, self-help and education.
It outlines five ways to express and experience love between romantic partners that Chapman calls "love languages." As per Chapman, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. It’s very much about knowing what it takes for a person to feel loved. So, what exactly are they and what do they mean?
According to Chapman, the five ways to express and experience love called "love languages" are:
- words of affirmation
- acts of service
- receiving gifts
- quality time
- and physical touch
After many years of counseling couples in crisis, Chapman says, “It became apparent to me that what makes one person feel loved isn’t always the same for their spouse or partner,” he explains. “I discovered every person understands and receives love in a specific language".
Chapman also says, that "taking the time to learn and really understand your partner’s primary love language, which is often different from your own, can improve communication and strengthen your bond". The key is to discover, which love language you and your partner respond to the most, then regularly putting that into practice.
Depending on our individual personality types, we may feel loved differently than how our partners do.